Questions to ask your grandparents about their life

Seventy questions, grouped by the parts of a life, and a few honest tips on how to ask them so the answers come out as stories rather than one-word replies.

VoiceMoir guide · October 2026 · about 7 minutes to read

Most families mean to do this "one day." Then a holiday comes and goes, and the questions stay in our heads. The good news: you don't need a plan, a camera crew or a book deal. You need a quiet hour, a phone that records, and a handful of good questions. This page gives you the questions.

Before you start: how to ask

• Pick three or four questions, not twenty. One good question can fill half an hour. Stop while it's still fun, and come back another day.
• Ask for a scene, not a summary. "What was school like?" gets "fine." "Walk me through a morning before school — who was in the kitchen?" gets a story.
• Follow the energy. The best material is usually in the follow-up: "What happened next?", "What did you say to him?", "How did that feel at the time?"
• Bring something to hold. An old photo, a recipe card, a medal, a map of the town where they grew up. Objects unlock memories that questions alone don't.
• Record, don't take notes. Writing while someone talks makes them slow down and edit themselves. Put the phone on the table and listen.
• It's fine to skip a question. Some memories are painful. "We don't have to talk about that" builds more trust than pushing.

Childhood

1. Where were you born, and what do you know about the day you were born?
2. What is the very first thing you remember?
3. Describe the house you grew up in. What did your room look like?
4. What did your street or village sound and smell like?
5. What did you eat on an ordinary day? And on a holiday?
6. What games did you play, and who did you play them with?
7. What were you afraid of as a child?
8. Did you have a nickname? Who gave it to you?
9. What chores did you have at home?
10. What was a typical Sunday in your family?

Their parents and grandparents

11. What were your parents like? What did each of them do for a living?
12. How did your parents meet?
13. What is something your mother used to say all the time? And your father?
14. Do you remember your grandparents? What were they like?
15. Where did our family come from before that? Do you know why they moved?
16. Is there a family story that everyone told and retold?
17. Which relative do you think you are most like?
18. Were there any family recipes, songs or sayings passed down?

School and growing up

19. What was your school like? How did you get there?
20. Which teacher do you still remember, and why?
21. What were you good at? What did you struggle with?
22. Who was your best friend as a teenager? What did you do together?
23. What music did you listen to, and where did you hear it?
24. What did you want to be when you grew up?
25. What did teenagers get in trouble for in your day? Did you?
26. What was the first thing you bought with your own money?

Work and making a living

27. What was your first job? How much did it pay?
28. How did you end up doing the work you did for most of your life?
29. What was a normal working day like?
30. Who was the best boss or colleague you ever had?
31. What are you proudest of from your working life?
32. Was there a time money was really tight? How did the family get through it?
33. If you could have had any other career, what would it have been?

Love and family

34. How did you meet Grandma / Grandpa? What did you think the first time you saw them?
35. What did you do on your first date?
36. How did the proposal happen?
37. What do you remember about your wedding day?
38. Where did you live when you were first married?
39. What do you remember about the day your first child was born?
40. What was the hardest part of raising children? The best part?
41. What was my mom or dad like as a little kid?
42. What is a family tradition you started yourselves?

The world around them

43. What big event in the news do you remember most clearly? Where were you when you heard?
44. What has changed the most since you were young?
45. What do you miss about the old days? What are you glad is gone?
46. Did you ever move to a new city or country? What was the first week like?
47. What was the first time you used a telephone, saw a television, or flew on a plane?
48. How did people celebrate holidays when you were young?

Hard times and turning points

49. What was the hardest time in your life? What got you through it?
50. Was there a moment when your life could have gone a completely different way?
51. Who helped you when you needed it most?
52. What is a mistake you learned the most from?
53. Is there someone you lost that you'd like us to remember? Tell me about them.
54. When were you most scared? When were you bravest?

Small things that say a lot

55. What did you carry in your pockets as a young person?
56. What smell takes you straight back to your childhood?
57. What song makes you want to dance?
58. What was your favorite meal, and who made it best?
59. What is the best gift you ever received?
60. What made you laugh until you cried?
61. What is something most people don't know about you?

Looking back

62. What are you most grateful for?
63. What would you tell yourself at twenty?
64. What do you think matters most in life?
65. What are you proudest of in our family?
66. What do you hope your great-grandchildren will know about you?
67. Is there anything you always wanted to do and haven't yet?
68. What does a perfect day look like for you now?
69. What is one piece of advice you'd want every person in our family to hear?
70. Is there a story you've never told anyone that you'd like to tell now?

How to keep the answers

Recording is the easy part. The hard part comes later: an hour of audio sits in a phone's voice memos, nobody listens to it again, and it gets lost with the phone. A few things help:

• Turn the recording into text soon after. Text can be read, searched, printed and shared at a family dinner. Audio usually isn't.
• Write down who said it and when. In twenty years, "Grandpa, Thanksgiving 2026" will matter as much as the story itself.
• Make a copy that lives outside the phone. A printed booklet or a PDF in the family's email is far safer than a single file on one device.
• Share it with the family while your grandparent can still hear what everyone thinks. Their reaction to the finished thing is often the best part.

Also read: How to record your parents' life story without turning it into homework.